john 13:7

Jesus replied, "You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will." - John 13:7

By the time we found out that we would need to go through IVF we already had a few years of dating under our belt. We were courting if you will (I'm an old soul). As mentioned in my previous post, the two to three years after our discovery, were some of the best years of our life together. They were also an integral time for us to evaluate our situation; spiritually, emotionally and physically - which takes time...a lot of time. These couple of years were a time of engagement, planning and wedding bliss, but also a time of grief, heartache, internal turmoil and days of depression.

One of the first steps for us to do was to seek guidance on moving forward with IVF and where it stood with our faith. There was a lot of anxiety, fear, tears and reluctancy about seeking answers for our questions as we were potentially going to give up this process if it didn't aline with our faith. God truly was and is, our number one importance even before children. Let me tell you, it was not an easy stance to come to in our marriage, but we are ever so glad we did! After a long meeting with a lovely trusted pastoral couple and many wise confirmations and prayer, we had no shadow of a doubt that God would bless us with this venture. He is so loving and also all knowing, and as we know Him to be - the ultimate creator. If we were meant to have children, it would ultimately be up to Him. That being said, we are so thankful and excited to work with the brilliant educated women and men who aid in making this happen for so many couples around the world! You are heroes to many and we cannot wait to share our success story with you.

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord determines their steps." We knew what we needed to do to become pregnant but we wanted it to be in God's timing. His timing has proven again and again in our lives to be worth the wait, if any wait at all. It was hard to know when the best time to start this would be. As you may know, IVF is a costly endeavour and the option for OHIP funded IVF was not even close to being on the table let alone an option. We will get to that in a later post! What we have come to know over time is that control is one of the greatest things people struggle with and it can lead down a path of internal struggle, stress, anxiety and failure. 

Giving God the reins on this one was extremely difficult, considering it has been about six years since we found out we would need to do IVF. As much as it was difficult to do, we are so glad we waited. To give you an example, we started saving slowly but surely for our IVF estimated cost of $18,000. There were a few opportunities and times that we turned down as we simply were not ready and it did not feel right. God reminded us to be patient. And now here we are...on an eligibility list for OHIP funded IVF and activly involved in our clinics lottery system.

Psalm 139: 13-16
"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Our hashtag on Instagram for this journey is #letterstobabyhanley
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