fifty two pages of what could go wrong

Never ending paper work, emails back and forth to nurses, coordinators, government funding update emails, finance, blood work, ultrasounds, surgery, sedation, risk of bleeding, gaining weight, medication side effects, hormones, endless needles, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, risk of pelvic infection, stroke, blood clots, death, multiple pregnancy risks, brith defects, genetics specialists, cryogenic freezing, thawing, risk of ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, prematurity and more... are all words and subjects that are brought up often throughout the IVF process. People, including myself don't realize the risk associated with literally ever single step.

Below is our list of the major steps involved with our IVF care plan:

Tests among tests

Ovulation induction (medication processes to stimulate the development of follicles in the ovaries)

Egg retrieval 

Insemination of the eggs

Culture

Embryo transfer

Uterine lining support

Embryo freezing (for remaining embryos) 

Our fifty plus page consent package was simply terrifying. Informative and necessary but terrifying. We went through it with a fine tooth comb in December and will probably do it again at our health teaching session closer to when we begin. There are many fears and "what ifs" associated with IVF. There are for sure two main paths we felt we could go down emotionally. It was a choice. Either to be fearful, worry and feel constant stress, or to remain positive and inspired and to trust in God. He clearly states in his word to not worry about tomorrow and to cast all anxiety upon Him. It truly feels amazing to know I don't have to carry this by myself. I literally feel a difference when I give him that heavy solid brass necklace that states "IVF" and all its' risks, and he takes it without struggle and dons it.  

Something else I wanted to share with you are some misconceptions I have experienced from people regarding our approach and attitude towards IVF. One thing I want to make clear is, if all you had to do was literally stand next to your spouse to get pregnant...I couldn't be more happy for you! God is good! I have had countless beautiful moms apologize to me when speaking of their birth story or talking about their children. Please do not apologize, that is when the process gets tough again. I am not barren or bitter, we are not sterile, we haven't grieved in years and I rebuke the name infertility. We are fertile and IVF is just our way to having a baby. When you speak of your children, I am only picturing what you are telling me about them..peace to you. Please don't tip toe around the IVF mom to be. It is true that I refuse to give up on something I think about every day of my life, but it does not consume me in a negative way. Back during the first few years, I thought other wise. As I mentioned before, we had to go through many conversations and emotional battles...but good news...we won! 

To close, I want to talk a little about OHIP Funded IVF and where we are at moving forward. As you know, we, like many couples, were fully willing to pay for this service. The provincial election that closed on June 12, 2014, changed everything for thousands of couples around Ontario. Kathleen Win and her party made it a priority to get boot IVF into motion. Since October 14, 2014 up until October 1, 2015, we received many emails from our clinic regarding updates and progress on IVF funding. As you can imagine, and as Quebec proved...these things take time. On October 14, 2015 we, and many others, received this email (i'll show a clipit): 

"Good afternoon,

The Ontario government has announced its plans for government funded IVF. In summary, starting in December 2015 the government will find one cycle of IVF for women under 43 years of age."

I remember exactly where I was at this moment. I knew the announcement was going to be made at 13:30, so shortly after, while at work, I ran to the staffroom to check my email. Sure enough there it was. Hope, perseverance and answered prayer. From there on it took another year for the government to finalize everything. On December 21, 2015, the email with finalized details arrived. Clinics around Ontario announced that starting the first week of January, couples would begin to be chosen for funded IVF. Our clinic has chosen a lottery/draw system to proceed with who is too obtain funding and when. Clinics are expecting high volumes of interest and some people could be waiting for years, even if they have been patients for years. We were happy to be informed that we are fully eligible with all of our forms and up to date testing in, to be included in all draws until chosen. We need to maintain up to date blood work every six months and have at least a yearly visit. Other than that, there are a few tests, a surgery and appointments we can get done and out of the way while we wait. The first lottery was on January 9, 2015. We were not contacted. The next lottery is February 5, 2016. We are looking forward to it, all prayers are welcomed!  

I think I have everyone caught up to speed on our journey with the last three posts. From here on out, posts will be current as to what we are doing in moving forward with IVF, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Feel free to drop a comment or share. Our Instagram hashtag is #letterstobabyhanley

P.S. Staying organized is KEY. Getting a huge binder, tabs, and printing off everything that comes our way, keeps stress levels lower.

Our hashtag on Instagram for this journey is #letterstobabyhanley

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