days one through six

This one will be a long one!

Overall our IVF cycle was not stressful and was very fun and exciting. We had been anticipating it for years, and it was everything and more than I could have imagined. We were so happy with our results as we headed home from the clinic on the retrieval day. It was a very joyful day as our first round of IVF came to a close. We were greatly anticipating our phone calls over the next week regarding our embryos, starting with the next morning.

The embryologist called the next day (Saturday) and let us know that 12 eggs had fertilized. Twelve zygotes growing in their incubator. We were thrilled. It was surreal for us to think that we knew the day that they became life, such a privilege. We prayed for these 12 little zygotes to grow and keep fighting every day. We had no idea at this point how many would make it to the end, but we had high hopes for every one.

Each time they are looked at by the team, they are graded as to where they are at in their growth. Their size, and how many cells are within them are some of the updates we receive when they call. The end, hopeful result, is to have good graded "blastocysts" on day six. If embryos make it to that stage, and are above a certain grade, they are frozen until their transfer day.

The day three call informed us that all 12 were still growing and that they were considered embryos now. Some were a bit slower in growth than others.

Typically there is no call on day five and the next call is on the final day but we just couldn't go that long without knowing how they were doing. Our team was gracious enough to call us on day five. Usually after day three, some of the embryos start to "drop off" and "arrest", meaning they are no longer growing or viable. Day five concluded that all 12 were still hanging on. So proud. There were distinct leaders and followers in the pack at this point (but all fighters none the less!). There was one in the lead as an early blastocyst, four close behind him/her, and seven that were still considered "multi-cellular embryos".

I was in the clinic later that day (Wednesday) for follow up ultrasound and blood work. The first thing I did was head to the embryology area. Only staff can enter the room of course but I stayed on the other side of the wall praying for them. With my hands on that wall, I prayed for their growth and development and their future. I prayed for every single one to keep moving forward and most of all, I prayed thanks to God, telling Him that I loved them so very much already. If one thing is for sure, it is that they will know how very loved they were through every moment and day of their growth from the beginning. We never stopped loving them or believing in them. God knew the passion we had for them long before they got here, and we held onto the promise He gave us years ago that we would have our own children.

Over the years, He has been preparing us to be the parents we were meant to be. Perfect for them, at the time of their arrival. That time allotted us to be dedicated in prayer, trust, and hope; praying for their lives, their future and their protection. Once we are pregnant, we will yet again be forever changed, as He moulds us even more into who we are meant be for them. Every step is truly so beautiful and empowering.

On day six, June 16th, Mitch headed to work early and I got up at nine to await the call. I spent the morning outside praying and pacing - and that is all. I did rounds of our property over and over. The morning of the day six was beautiful. It could not have been a more perfect day. Warm with a summer wind. We were both at peace, yet nervous at the same time. We both knew in our hearts that some of them would make it. Of course, during the waiting, human emotion has you wondering if this cycle is the one that is meant to be.

At 1059 the phone rang. A lovely Johanna was on the other line from the lab at Hannam. The first words out of her mouth were, "Good morning Kendra, I have great news for you." I immediately started crying and let her know that I probably wouldn't stop throughout the call. She was the perfect person to call as she was very gracious! She proceeded to say that a lot had happened over night and that we had five embryos ready to go! Five! I started crying harder and asked her to hold on a minute. I praised God at the top of my lungs for about 20 seconds then asked her to carry on! She was laughing and so supportive. She mentioned she was one of the embryologist that had inseminated them on day of retrieval. I couldn't thank her enough for her hard work and let her know that both of us had been praying for her hands and sharp mind that day. She proceeded to tell me the grades of them and said that they were perfect. I couldn't have been more proud and joyful in that moment. SO happy and excited and truly one of the best days of my life.

Five meant they were finally here and ready for us, five meant I wouldn't have to sell my house one day because we couldn't fit all of our children, and five meant God had answered our prayer for the perfect amount of embryos.

Our five. I was forever changed after that phone call. I had fallen so in love with them already and fell even harder. I thanked God for the seven that didn't make it. They were not meant to be, but I was able to be apart of their growth through prayer for those few short days and I will always be thankful for the original 12.

The best phone call I have made to date, was to Mitch that morning after I had received our news.